Today was a gorgeous spring day and my first bike ride since the operation. I wasn’t sure how much I’d be able to do but it went fine, lungs and legs were good and I went further than I thought, about 4 or 5 miles in all. That’s an important step forward for me.
Riding in the sun along backstreets, without much traffic to fight off, idle thoughts glide through the mind. And despite the glory of day, this disease managed to tug me back to reality. I started thinking why do I have this type of cancer? Why not another type, an ‘easier’ one perhaps? And I found myself doing a grim comparison, which cancer is the least undesirable type? Skin, minor organ, near the surface...
Ridiculous eh? It’s still all cancer, trying to get a firm grip, clinging on for dear life, my dear life actually, insinuating itself unseen, biding it’s time, a chancer, a spiv looking for its break. Bastard
Hi Charles
ReplyDeleteJust thought I’d drop by to say Hi.
Your musings as to ‘why this type of cancer’ reflected my own initial thoughts about this. I never wondered ‘why me,’ it was always why this particular cancer. Anyway, try to save those darker thoughts for when you aren’t doing an enjoyable exercise such as bike riding. It’s my belief that exercise and good thoughts/feelings go a long way to ensuring our good health, and that dark thoughts can undermine those efforts. It’s not easy to control random thoughts though, is it, but that’s just the nasty spiv’s way of trying to cling on desperately when it knows it’s beaten!
You’re doing really well so soon after surgery, so keep doing whatever it is that works for you.
Love and Hugs
Crystal xx
Kudos to you for the example you set - I may never reach such excursions but what inspiration!
ReplyDeleteGearing up to watch England's advance in the 6 Nations competition this afternoon.
Cheers mate
David
BTW hello to Crystal my friend. x
Crystal hi and you're right about staying positive which I usually am and I think that has helped me make progress. And it's people like you and David who encouraged me very much too. I guess I am still trying to understand or grasp what cancer is so now and then I jot down these thoughts. Happily they were soon superseded by the glory of the day, too many lovely colours, flowers and gorgeous light, and the fresh air always clears the mind doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteDavid I have to say I have paid for my exertions today - good and stiff! But that just spurs me on to get fit again and the bike is a good way to head there. Grand slam on?
Cheers and hugs to you both
Charles x